Wednesday, 22 October 2014

FOOD IS BETTER THAN SEX.


You can eat food while watching TV and no one will give you a hard time.

   
  •     A table for three is much easier to arrange than a threesome.

  •     Supermarkets are much cleaner than brothels.
  •     Food tastes nice. When people say “Oh baby, that tastes so good” during sex, it’s a lie.
  •     Experimenting with food very rarely leads to years of psychological trauma.
  •     If you fart while eating, people will either laugh or frown – it won’t ruin the entire meal.
  •     Food poisoning is better than AIDS.
  •     Food tourism is a great topic for professional travel writers. Sex tourism is not (the guidebook will sell quite well, but it’ll ruin your reputation).

  • You can order food from room service.
  • Sharing a meal with a business associate is socially acceptable and tax deductible.
  • The average person gets to eat 21 times a week.
  • Your parents can teach you how to cook for your spouse and vice versa.
  • You can tell someone you’re hungry without fear of repercussions.
  • After two or three glasses of wine you can still manage dessert.
  • The purple pills are cheaper than the blue ones.
  • It’s easy for a married person to enjoy a variety of foods.

    • If you take care of your teeth you can eat steak your whole life
    •    There is no chance of being distantly related to food.
    •   Performance is not an issue unless you are eating at a particularly fine restaurant.
    •   If the bag breaks, you don’t have to panic.
    •   You won’t be labeled a slut for eating at MacDonald’s one day and KFC the next (well, you might…).
    •   You can eat Chinese food, Indian food, Italian food and all the other foods of the world without being beaten to death for crossing cultural barriers.
    •    Premarital eating is never a problem, so there’s no risk of spending eternity in hell.



            SOCIAL LIFERS ARE RESPONSIBLE SOCIALITES, STAY CONNECTED.





    2 comments: